


Love unreturned

by never_bloom_again



Series: Deserving of Love (Hotch/Rossi) [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Insecure Aaron Hotchner, Insecure David Rossi, Insecurity, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Possibly Unrequited Love, Post Limelight, Self-Esteem Issues, Unrequited Love, i might write more, okay i was trying to write something with a happy ending, s3e13 Limelight, why are all of my fics basically the same-
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-02-23 10:13:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23909923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/never_bloom_again/pseuds/never_bloom_again
Summary: Aaron is a better man than Dave will ever be. Dave knows this.Dave is a better man than Aaron will ever be. Aaron knows this.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/David Rossi, past Aaron Hotchner/Haley Hotchner - Relationship
Series: Deserving of Love (Hotch/Rossi) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1723459
Comments: 2
Kudos: 63





	1. David

**Author's Note:**

> 3 things: Okay well this is based off of Limelight. Rossi is really hard to write, and he is W AY too pissed of in In Heat about the homophobic dad to be straight :/
> 
> And 4th point,, there is NOT enough Hotch/Rossi

Another David Rossi was the last thing the FBI needed. That was the message bestowed upon the aforementioned man by Aaron Hotchner. Rossi knew that, without a doubt already, but it had hit home for him in that case. Agent Jill Morris, well, there was no denying she was much like he was at the same age, and as Aaron had said, the FBI needed no more agents like that. No more agents like him.

He was very aware of the detrimental effects of his behaviour, of how he had taken serial killers mainstream, of how what he had done had led to the romanticisation of and obsession with serial killers exhibited by the media. He knew that what he did wasn’t good, but hearing it out loud, from Aaron, of all people, just seemed to make the reality so much harsher, colder, sharper.

Rossi had always just thought that he hated himself enough for who he was in so many ways, that no one else would really bother to point it out, that there had to be some sort of balance. He had been so used to people just looking at the surface anyway, just seeing the perfect facade of the rich, pompous and self-assured yet charming man he put up that he was unused to people looking far enough beyond to criticise him - except for his ex-wives. They loved nothing better than to insult him much of the time. 

But Aaron never had. He had always seen who Dave really was, but had never seemed to mind. He was a friend, the kind that everyone wanted, who Dave always trusted, not just with his life, as he would all of the team, but also his feelings, which were always kept a much more closely guarded secret. Hotch listened, and he cared. Never quite in the way Dave wanted, but he cared, and that was more than he could say for most of the people in his life.

That trust was still there, and he still knew Aaron would have his back and support him, but something had broken. With just a few short words, Rossi’s life, in that moment, felt destroyed. He had always known that Aaron didn’t have feelings for him, never would, and was so painfully straight, but at that moment, things became real.

It was that moment when Dave realised that even if Hotch wasn’t freshly divorced, still painfully in love with Haley and so, so straight, he still would never have a chance. Because for all that Aaron could deal with him as a friend, could put up with him to deal with spending all of their working hours together, he would never like Dave enough, never love him, because he was too flawed. Too self-absorbed, too egotistical, too focused on being the best, no matter how much he tried to change.

So Dave did what he did best. Even if he wouldn’t be wanted by Hotch, at least he could be useful to the man. So he did what he did best. He worked and worked, until the case was solved. And the moment it all was done, he would throw himself into the next case. Maybe even take a day off, go out hunting with Mudgie, shoot out his pain, his frustration. Just distract himself, because he needed to learn to be okay with the new certainty he had on one of the fundamental truths of his life, those whom he loved were too good for him, and would never love him back.


	2. Aaron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron wasn't good enough for anyone else, why would Dave be the exception?

Hotch was sat in his office. The divorce papers were signed, sealed, and sent away.  
This all was terrible. He missed his son, and his wife - no, his ex-wife. But he would be lying if he didn’t recognise that it was over, and had been for a long time. And as much as he often felt otherwise, not just for Haley either. He was as over her as you can be someone you have been dating since you were 16, even if he sometimes deluded himself, holding on to the idea of what they had, because it was easier than letting go. Than acknowledging that he felt,, something, for someone else. Someone he most definitely should not have feelings for. Someone who had made it very clear that he did not need Aaron around anymore than possible.

It was Dave, of course, the man who he had followed for so long, who he now led. The man who had kept him going in the darkest cases, when he saw the horrible things that they were supposed to prevent. The man who put up a front of being arrogant, entitled and egotistical, when he was actually so kind and caring, and would do anything for those who needed him. The very man who had been avoiding him as much as possible, who had actually been taking time off, which was almost as much of a rarity as Hotch doing that same thing.

Aaron had no clue what had happened between them, something around the case in Philadelphia, that had made the man hate being around him so much, that had made him worse than the boredom and guilt that they all knew too well, that came with missing a case, not helping to save another person.

Aaron knew his friend wasn’t straight. Everyone knew that he was the reason for the no-fraternisation policies, but everyone assumed it was because of different people than it really was. They assumed that because of the three ex wives he could be nothing else, but Aaron knew he was at least bisexual. 

That made it harder in a way, because at least if he were straight then Aaron could pretend that it wasn’t just him, that he wasn’t the reason that Rossi would never date him, but instead his gender was. But it was all his fault, as per usual, all the fault of stupid little Aaron Hotchner, who would never be good enough for anyone - for Haley, for Jack, or for Dave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be it for this part, but in the next couple of days I will upload the next story in the series, where hopefully they will pull their heads out of their asses and realise what is going on.
> 
> I appreciate kudos and comments <3   
> and the next part is out now :)

**Author's Note:**

> So I am probably going to write a second part in a series with a happier ending where they might get together, let me know if you'd be interested
> 
> Comments and Kudos give me life :)


End file.
